More Lessons from the Dolphins - Welcome to the Human Pod Experience

I (re)learned an important lesson from the dolphins on my recent trip to Bimini which I know was shown to me at this time for important work I am to do… and who I am to always be for others in my human pod.

The dolphins kept stressing to me that this trip was about the "Human Experience" and while I didn't understand fully at the time, I am getting it more and more as the ripples and waves from this trip gently affect all aspects of my life.

When a dolphin is in a physical crisis, the whole pod surrounds them, lifts them up and swims with them into shallow waters. They don’t tell the dolphin in crises that they created their own reality, their physical pain is not really real anyway, shift NOW and that the rest of the pod shall swim over to their place of high vibration and wait for the injured dolphin to get into vibrational alignment and come to them. They don’t say, "sorry, I held you up yesterday, I need to take care of myself now." No. The dolphins stick with their pod mates until the crises is over, one way or the other. They demonstrate Unselfish Service to their pod mates for the good of the whole pod.

When people are in crises, don’t expect & push them to take quantum leaps into joy & yell from the top of the crest of the wave how good it is at the vibrational top. This creates feelings of helplessness, drowning & even anger because they are not in the place to hear it, they are in survival mode.

Acknowledge where they are and that it’s okay; help them get to a place of feeling safe both physically and emotionally, hold out a hand/fin and help them with loving increments of relief to the shore… actually BECOME the shore for them… including physical support if necessary.

In my human experience, now from both sides of the ocean, compassion, physical support (action) and empathy are always better than speaking law of attractionisms from a distant and disconnected “I’m up here, you are down there” mentality, especially when one is in physical fear.

Although my intentions were always good and I am a very loyal and solid friend, I’ve done this a few times to people I care about and now I see where I was not following my compassionate human/dolphin pod instinct and inner guidance… and I instead did what I had been told is right by outside sources. Sometimes outside sources, especially non physical ones, do not have access to the real human experience. I see through that now. I can hold my vibration no matter what, in no matter what circumstance, and especially when someone needs my help. That's what pod mates do.

I can now see why others sometimes lashed out at me when they were in physical and/or emotional pain. I wasn’t reaching out in a way that could really help during their crises. I didn’t swim them to shore, I left them to paddle on their own. Of course they were flailing about, struggling not to drown, trying to find something floating by to hold on to.

It never really did feel good (duh!) and although I thought I was doing what was right and best for them at the time, I am glad I can see that isn’t who I really am and can permanently shift it now.  I will do what I can to get them to level, safe ground and THEN spew my shift your vibration shpeal from where they can hear; from a safe place on shore.

It feels so much better to help someone, to act, AND to “hold the vibrational space.” It’s not one or the other. It’s both. I can stay in my high vibration and still provide physical and emotional support without buying into the fear. I can BE THERE for my human pod, whatever needs to be done, no matter what. Unconditional Love and Service to Others. Like the dolphins in their pods. It works for humans and dolphins alike!!!

I AM one of the pod, after all, the beautiful Human Pod I share this amazing planet with. And I want to be a stellar pod mate to others. This I promise. And so it is.

Amen and thank you, O’ great Universe and dolphins for the reminder, the wake up call, the shifts, the divine and subtle bliss I feel from who I have now become!!

Open Heart Surgery, Dolphin Style

There is not much I fear in this life. I am a super independent woman living in the remote rainforest, leaping tall vines in a single bound. I am Super Shifter, able to shift so called contrast faster than a speeding locomotive.

But needles? Doctors? Hospitals? Medicine? FEAR!!!!

For this reason, I avoided way too long getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I endured the rush of pain any time I took a cold drink and learned to chew on one side of my mouth to not disturb a very loose tooth. I was more willing to endure pain and inconvenience than go to the dentist and face my fear. The fear of feeling fear and more pain was stronger than the actual pain.

However, the actual pain was growing, even room temperature water now bothered me and I received a vision from the dolphins of diving down with them on my upcoming trip to Bimini and feeling great pain from the pressure. I decided to bite the bullet so to speak and go to the dentist. For the dolphins. For me. I mean, c’mon already; I am Sierra the Super Shifter! I can do this. I can shift my thoughts and this won’t be so bad. Maybe even okay. I made an appointment for two days before my flight to Florida.

I flew into San Jose from Drake Bay and went straight to the dentist. My knees were weak already and I kept taking big breaths. I held on tightly to my Zero Point Energy pendant as they took x-rays. I closed my eyes and turned up my 528 frequency music as they prepped me for the dentist to come in, trying to hold back the dread and fear tears that were wanting to come. Then I felt this woosh of dolphin energy and I thought “Yay, the dolphins are here to help me get through this.” And then I realized that the dentist had just walked into the room and that it was him! I got a dolphin for a dentist!! Thank you, Universe.

I immediately relaxed. He as not only pure dolphin energy, he was HOT. He looked deeply into my eyes… he whispered to me of how it makes him feel to swim with the dolphins… the joy, the ecstasy, the freedom… oh ya baby…yes, yes, yes… he gently told me to open wide… and then he stuck it in, slowly, maybe unsure at first but then harder, faster, with confidence…. yup, he stuck that first big needle into the upper palette of my mouth. Gulp.  I seriously don’t think it was as good for me as it was for him.

It’s funny, but it’s not even the actual pain, which stung but wasn’t excruciating, it’s the “idea” of it. The “idea” of needles makes me shutter. And shuttering I was, dolphin doctor or not and the tears started to flow… drip, drip, drip, a steady stream down my face.

Poor guy, he felt so bad, and the thing is, the Novocain was in effect, I wasn’t feeling pain, but, but, but... well, you know, this whole “story” I’ve made up in my mind about doctors and medical procedures and needles.  I was in a total “dental breakdown”, right in front of the hot dolphin doctor. But I didn’t care.

I had to learn to shift my thoughts here too, the last frontier of fear.

The oral violation act was finally over and Dr. Dolphin tells me he wants me to take antibiotics for three days because I am going out of the country and I resist that too but he insists. I concede and agree to take them, still a bit miffed that . It’s only three days.

But by now, I’ve done a lot of resisting. I resisted going in the first place, I resisted the procedure with shaking and tears and now I was resisting taking antibiotics but doing it anyway.

Tsk, Tsk, Tsssssk. Law of Duh 101. That’s the worst thing you can do.

You can take the antibiotics and say, “These pills are doing exactly what my body needs them to do in perfect balance and harmony and my body easily and peacefully accepts this medicine,” and take them without resistance.

But my vibration was more like “I hate medicine, these are going to kill all my good bacteria too, this is why I don’t go to doctors, etc. etc. etc., bla bla bla, I don’t like this at all but I’m going to do it anyway.” 

Baaaaaad vibration! Mixed Vibration! Split Vibration!

Either take them with joy, or don’t take them with joy… but don’t take them with resistance or not take them and wish you did!! Duh, Sierra. Basic Law of Duh. DO NOT RESIST!! But resist I did. Big time.

I wasn’t leaving for Florida for two days and was invited to stay at a most interesting place in the outskirts of San Jose. After coming in through the metal sliding gates, I was given a tour of the large house decorated in Nouveau Age (a decorating term I made up for that “one altar too many” look) and was told the man of the house was not feeling well for a few days now and they needed to be “clearing the energies.” I could see why. Something about the energy here had me on the edge. It was a strange vibe of the “appearance” and “effort” to  be love and light with underlying tones of low vibrations… like someone had sprayed perfume in order to try to cover the smell of a deadly fart. :))

I asked how I could open the gate to get out to the street and was told with a big crooked toothed smile, “You won’t need to leave, just walk around the property.” Rocky Horror Picture Show’s Time Warp starts playing in my head and wonder how did I miss that they have an uncanny resemblance to an older Riff Raff and Magenta?? Damnit Janet!!

I go into my room, close the door, put on high vibing music and talk to high vibing friends. I have NO PAIN from the tooth extraction. My fears were all for nothing. YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME!!

On the second day I am told they are not feeling well due to the “outside energies” and am I okay, do I feel that, am I okay???? And I say that I am feeling pretty darn good, in fact better than I would have thought due to the dental work… and I go to my room and pack my bag as my thoughts are now about clearing my butt out of there during their fourth “clearing of the energies” session since I arrived.  As I hear the “I am that I am, I am that I am, I am that I am” chanting coming from the other room once again, I write and post this Facebook status:

If you are standing strong in your high vibration and heart space, no outside influences and energies can affect you and come into your "space." Don't look outside yourself if you are not feeling good. Don't blame others or the "energies" around you. It is only from within, and the vibration that we put out that determines how we feel. In other words, YA CAN'T TOUCH THIS!!! ♥♥

I giggled as I knew they read my Facebook page and joked with my friend Steph over skype that maybe I should lock my door. But a funny thing happened. They both “liked” my status and even commented on it and when I finally braved leaving my room, the energy was totally different, everyone magically felt better and the vibe was much higher. So I stayed.

The next morning their property caretaker drove me to the airport. In the car I started to feel this pressure in my chest and I broke out into a sweat. I felt dizzy. I thought, “OMG they’ve poisoned me because of my Facebook status,” LOL… but wait, seriously, this isn’t going away. Was I being taken to Dr. Frank-N-Furter? Wait, that’s silly, Sierra. You are not playing out Rocky Horror Picture Show. What is going on here???

Maybe my grand plan of Happy, Healthy, Hot, Happy, Healthy Dead is playing out. I have never seen myself getting old. I always kinda planned to come in strong, shine my light as bright as possible and then exit stage left while I still feel great and look good doing it.

But I gave up that plan when my brother died eight years ago and I knew I couldn’t do that to my parents. Not both of us. But maybe I changed my mind too late.

Maybe my years of smoking and yo yo dieting had caught up with me. I thought I had avoided heart and lung damage because of my beliefs and high vibration, but maybe that was a bunch of crap and I was about to pay the price.

We got to the airport and I stepped out of the car. The fresh air helped, I weakly smiled to the driver and went inside. Standing in the ticketing line I felt like I was in the twilight zone. My vision was tunnel-y and strange; I was dizzy, weak, shaky. I called my mom. I knew what I was starting by calling her, she worries for nothing let alone for something like this, but I needed her. I didn’t want to have a heart attack right there in the middle of strangers. I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew that I felt VERY strange and that something was very off.

I got through ticketing and walked in slow motion through security and to the gate. I had to seriously consider going to a hospital and missing my flight. What was the right thing to do? The dolphins won out and I decided to take my chances and at least get to Florida. I was scared and all the fears came up of having a heart attack on the plane and them having to land somewhere… but between Costa Rica and Florida there is mostly just ocean. I had to do it. I prayed. This was VERY new to me. I can overcome any adversity and shift my thoughts, but being fearful for my own life, having my body acting in this way, fearing having a heart attack among strangers was out of my realm of experience. It brought me to my knees. I started talking to my angels, to my Grandmother, to God.

The flight went by quickly and I was feeling a bit better. I got my rental car and drove to Boca Raton and to my friend Christopher. She was very concerned and gave me capsicum liquid concentrate which is great for the heart. It felt good to be with my beautiful sister and our animal family.

I was feeling better and more relaxed now that I was in the United States and with friends. Everything was good and the symptoms seemed to have subsided until about 10 at night when the dizziness and weird feeling came again and I had to go outside and breathe. I decided the best thing to do was to go to sleep and see how I felt in the morning. This was not good. Why was it coming and going? The not knowing what was going on was probably the most frightening of all. But knowing might mean going to the doctor and God forbid, the “H” word (hospital).

The next morning I felt much better. I went and ran some errands and decided to get a hotel room close to the airport so that when I picked up Stephanie from the airport I didn’t have to drive all the way back to Boca Raton. Steph came in, we went shopping to get the food for the Bimini trip and I was feeling like whatever it was had passed. I had gone the whole day feeling good.

But then the next morning it came back as we were getting ready to go to the airport for the short  flight to Bimini. The pressure in my chest, the dizziness, the weakness. I was really frightened now and not sure what to do. My head was telling me it was crazy to continue on to Bimini with potential heart problems, knowing there was only a clinic there… but my heart and soul couldn’t bear the thought of NOT going to the turquoise waters, seeing my dolphin family and hanging with my new human pod. I had been looking forward to this trip for soooo long. I didn’t want to let down the people who had signed up. I didn’t want to let down Stephanie who was my co-leader of the trip and had never been to Bimini and wouldn’t know what to do. And she had been through a house fire that week and if she could pull it together and come anyway, I could too.

I was completely torn. I was still very scared because there were signs it was not over. Heart racing, dizziness, weakness, left arm hurting. My body screamed to stay back, my mind said NO WAY should I go on this trip in this condition but my heart and soul and the dolphins won out again. Having Stephanie there helped. She assured me that she would take care of me and that we were in this together. I also knew that my human pod would take care of me. Yup. I was going on to Bimini, heart fluttering and all.

I felt so bad and embarrassed that Stephanie had to carry my backpack as I didn’t have the strength to do it. Sickness has always been a sign of weakness to me and I remember that as a young kid I would hide under the table when I was sick because I didn’t want anyone to see me. I felt so defeated, so dependent. I really like to take care of myself being the super independent jungle woman and all.

I could see that my lessons were already starting. I was facing letting go of having to do it all myself and allowing others to help me. No one goes to Bimini and with the dolphins and comes out the same. I had been feeling the intense change in the air for weeks. I knew this trip was going to be very BIG. The energy there calls us to shift in big ways and I knew that going in, but I had no idea how it would unfold. I certainly was not expecting heart problems!!

In the Ft. Lauderdale airport while waiting for our flight to Bimini, my heart started pounding again, I got really cold and again questioned my decision to go on to Bimini… but the dolphins and that turquoise water won out. Surely I would be okay. I was among friends and Source always takes care of me, everything works out perfectly and I don’t have to worry about the details. Even if that means the plan is to die out there with the dolphins.

I had to start really looking at my view of death and where I stand and where my fears lie. What was I afraid of? I am not afraid to die. I KNOW we don’t really die and I can feel the bliss and love and the coming home and release of resistance that comes with dying. But I knew I didn’t want to die alone or among strangers, I didn’t’ want pain and suffering and doctors and hospitals and I didn’t want to die before my parents and put them through losing their second child. In other words, I didn’t want to die right here, right now, like this.

And I was getting increasingly frustrated with myself in my inability to shift when the chest pressure would come on. I knew I had to control my thoughts, but because of the fear of having a heart attack and the not knowing and all the other fears that were creeping in, I found myself in another unknown territory… unable to shift my focus in 10 minutes or less. And the more I got frustrated with myself and fought the fear, the more I couldn’t shift and was fearful. I was in a state of resisting the fear which brought more fear. Where was Sierra the super shifter? I couldn’t find her, that frustrated and confused me and that started the whole fearful cycle all over again. I felt like I was standing in quicksand.

We met a couple of the people from our trip at the airport and I could feel the bond between us lock into place. I could feel the bigger picture start to form, the totally intertwined perfection of everything that was about to happen. I could see and feel glimpses of it, but the actual unfolding lay before us. I just knew it was BIG for all concerned.

We got to the island, met the rest of the group and I was feeling pretty good but there was always this background of fear going on, either a loud buzz or a faint distant one, but always there.  I was definitely not my Super Sierra self and I knew that it showed, at least to me, which made it worse.  We had to tell the group what was going on and I just wanted to shrink into a corner. It was so hard for me to admit that something was wrong health wise, me who always hid under the table when sick as a child, embarrassed to show a sign of weakness and humanness. As much as I wanted to hide under the table, there was nowhere to go but into surrender and trust. I had to trust my human pod. I had to surrender to my non physical pod.

I so wanted to be in full high vibration for this group. I so wanted to lead this dolphin trip as I have so many others, from a place of power and connection so that I could be there for the others when they went through the things that often come up on these trips. Never ever did I imagine that I would be the one who needed the emotional and physical support and a part of me felt as if I had failed them.

This is so unlike me, but I was definitely not myself and more and more I was losing access to my usual thoughts, my direct connection to infinite intelligence that would have told me that everyone is getting exactly what they need, that I can relax and trust that all is in perfect divine order. Further down into the quicksand I go. I felt shaky and unsure.

We got out on the water in the afternoon and as I shared with AJ, our only male on the trip, about the sparkling lights I see in the direction the dolphins are, he saw them too. And there they were, just where the sparkly lights said they were. We had a joyful dolphin jump and jump for us and we also met Tilly, a dolphin who had lost most of his dorsal fin, probably from a shark. I felt all of us feel sympathy for Tilly and he didn’t stay around for long. We had a beautiful day out on the water and returned to Beautiful Bimini as the sun set into the blue turquoise waters.

I mostly feel good for the rest of the evening except the pressure started to come on near the end of dinner but not bad. I breathed through it and it eventually subsided.

The next morning we had a group session scheduled and after Steph led us into a relaxed state, I received and shared a message for the group from Tilly, the dolphin with the missing dorsal fin from the day before.

Tilly spoke to us about how he does not see his body as broken, only whole and how we need to do the same. Tilly emphasized to us how we are already whole there is nothing we have to seek or do. We all felt the dolphins swirling around us and off we went to see them in the physical.

We soon came upon dolphins and even though our captain said that he didn’t think they’d swim with us, I told him to let me into the water.  Another pod mate and I got into the water and the dolphins stopped feeding and came right over. It was such an amazing and intense connection, eye to eye, belly to belly, twirling and spiraling. And then I felt it. One of the dolphins sonared me from behind, right through my back to my lungs, heart and chest and I felt the buzz as they opened up, open heart surgery dolphin style. Wowzers.

The rest of our human pod got into the water, and the dolphins did their thing, weaving between everyone, giving each and every person their special brand of love and light.

One of my greatest joys is seeing the transformation in people after they have swam with the dolphins. The joy and light in their faces, the vibration that they are emitting; it is a special gift to experience and I was basking in that, especially after my dolphin heart surgery. I was buzzzzzzzing and so were most of our human pod. THAT’s what it’s all about.  There is nothing like a dolphin JOY BUZZ!!

Our human pod was excited and we had a high energy dinner. I was feeling good and thought the heart ordeal was over. But right before going to bed, it came on again, and strong. I had pressure in my chest, my vision was blurry, I was weak and shaky. Everyone had gone to bed except Steph and when she saw me she knew I was in trouble and asked if I wanted her to go and get Sharmini who is a Reiki practitioner.

I knew I had to let my embarrassment and fear of “bothering” others go because I needed help. See, I hate to inconvenience people. I hate to make them go out of their way or stay up or do things they wouldn’t have had had to do for me. I felt embarrassed because these are people who looked up to me and came because of who I am at my best, or at least who they perceived me to be.  And I really had to let go of that and surrender.

And I knew Sharmini had stayed up late the night before and was tired. But the fear took me beyond my embarrassment now and I said, “Yes, go get her.”

I was powerless and I hated it. I did not have access to my magic. I can change weather patterns, create blue lightening and earthquakes, manifest all kinds of things out of nowhere, I know who is calling, I know who is gonna post, I know just what to say but I had access to none of that while in fear for my life… and that scared and frustrated me even more. Where was I???

The three of us sat on my bed and held hands and talked about my fears, my fear of getting old, my fear of not looking hot anymore, my fear of losing control, my fear of not fulfilling my responsibility to the group, my fear of letting go and letting others help me, my fear of what I’ve done to my body, my fear of doctors, hospitals, needles, my fear to ask for help, fear of being vulnerable, etc. etc. etc. They were ALL coming up for me. Open heart surgery, remember? They spoke to me of how it is okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to ask for help, to let go. I felt loved and supported and I agreed to do that. I said, “I am in trouble here, I need help, I am scared, I need to go to a doctor, I physically cannot take care of the group right now, I surrender, help me.”

Whew. That was a big one… a really really big one for me. I have never been so frightened in my life. I was not only physically not well, but I had just given up all control of the situation and had become more vulnerable than I ever had been… ever.

Sierra Raw and Unplugged.

But now that I had given in and become completely vulnerable, I got to face more fears and that was what happens if people don’t meet my expectations when I make myself completely vulnerable. What if I put myself out there in a vulnerable position and people don’t respond how I would respond? What if their idea of what should happen is different than mine?  How many conditions will I put on being vulnerable, like “I’ll only be vulnerable if….?”  How much power do I give away to others by making my success at being vulnerable depend on how they act and respond? Yikes.

Oh yes. Just fricken bring it on, Universe.  Bring it all up, have we missed anything?  Any more fears to deal with??

Oh Sierra. You know better than that. It had only just begun!!

I called my theta healing, matrix energetics friend Kevin and told him what was going on. “HELP ME,” I said.  He said, “Well, you know there is a perfectly healthy you in another dimension.”

I think my exact words were “Well, F@*%’n Beam Me UP, Scotty.”

See, I had no access to thoughts like that, healthy me’s in parallel universes. And it’s something I might have said to someone in the same situation too standing in the Sierra of Power. But I was not in a place of being able get to the other healthy me’s as I was stuck in the fear of the present me which felt like her heart was about to explode.

I was sinking deeper and deeper into the quicksand and what I needed was for someone to give me a hand and at least help me get one foot on solid ground and THEN I could access the other things like parallel universes and healing thoughts. I could not compute “Sierra be the light that you are, embrace your divine self, let go of the fear, ” when I felt like I was dying and was in fear. I needed to physically feel safe.

Everyone wanted me to shift and be the me they know I am, and I know exactly from there they stood, and that is in love for me and wanting me to be okay, but I needed to acknowledge the fear and where I presently was first. I needed everyone to stop expecting and trying to push Sierra the Super Shifter and let me be Sierra the scared and fearful one going through some big shit. I needed to face the fear, not run and try to super shift from it and I needed to feel safe and protected and supported while doing it. I needed to feel safe to be afraid to shift from being afraid if that makes any sense. It does to me now.  I couldn’t shift and find the thoughts I needed to find until I didn’t feel like I was sinking anymore.

And now I knew I needed to get to the clinic/hospital/doctor and that made me sink even further into fear. Then someone reached out an understanding hand that pulled me out of the quicksand… and for that I am forever appreciative.

I finally got to the small clinic on Bimini with two of my podmates with me and I felt relief when my blood pressure and EKG tests came back okay. The doctor told me I was not in imminent danger of a heart attack which was of course great news and I relaxed. He said that it very well could be a reaction to the antibiotics I took, which of course wouldn’t surprise me since I took them with such resistance. He told me to go to a doctor as soon as I got to the States and while I was relieved, there was still the unknown of why I was feeling like I did. I was still weak and shaky and the pressure was still there, but when the symptoms came on, I was no able to control them better as I didn’t have the immediate fear that I was about to die of a heart attack which added panic to the whole soup of fear. BIG DIFFERENCE.

I had leverage. I had some solid ground to stand on. And this has given me the most amazing shift and understanding about the real authentic human experience that has changed me forever and how I will help others.

I remember a few years back many rainforest animals began to die and no one knew what was going on. Monkeys were dying, we saw lots of sick, dying and dead toucans, a sloth died on my doorstep and I sank into a two day depression. Before that I had no sympathy for anyone who was depressed because I couldn’t understand how you just don’t change your thoughts. Like Duh!! But for two days, I could not find better feeling thoughts and I felt so tired and well, depressed! I finally was able to snap myself out of it, but I came away with a new compassion and understanding for others who have symptoms of depression. 

That’s what had happened now. I thought of times when I have not had an understanding of why people can’t move from their present state of unhealthy thinking and fear and have spewed my spiritual stuff at them and couldn’t understand why they couldn’t hear me. I was speaking the truth, after all!!! What I needed to do was to throw a rope, hold out a hand and get them to a level, stable ground from which they can shift and then hear me. Mind you, that does NOT mean to enable destructive behavior or buy into the fear. It means to help with the immediate physical needs, get done what physically needs to get done, to acknowledge and have compassion for the fear and for where they are, and that can get someone to a place of choice and power again. It means to be a Stabilizer as well as an Uplifter when needed and necessary. A grounding, stabilizing force.

I thought about a thread that was on the the Abe Forum a few years back and someone asked if you came upon a drowning girl, would you save her? I was surprised to see how many said, “I would not save her, she made her vibrational bed and now she has to lie in it.” I never want to use the Law of Attraction or some spiritual belief systems to lose my compassion for where people are and withhold my physical ability to reach out and help someone in need. I am a compassionate human being and we’re all in this together.

I went for a walk to the beach and felt the dolphins come in around me. I heard this:

“ All the "spiritual" jargon and talk doesn't really mean anything if you don't mean what you say, don't do what you say and especially if you use your spiritual lingo as a way to not treat people with kindness and compassion... It's really about how you treat yourself and how you treat others... and the rest is just a bunch of bla bla bla!!! This is about the human experience and how you show up for each other and who you are to each other. This is not about going on your solo spiritual journey; this is about community and needing one another and helping one another. Like a dolphin pod. It is okay to ask for help, it’s okay to need others, just let go of how it should be, what surrendering and being vulnerable should be. If the one you thought would show up doesn’t, someone else will. Let go. Trust. Let everyone off the hook, especially yourself.  You don’t have to be everything; you are supposed to need others, to operate in a flowing pod of love.”

Man, those dolphins always know just what to say. We had the most amazing people on our trip, the perfect pod, everyone played their role perfectly and I realized that part of what happened was that I needed to sit back and get my lessons so that others could shine and be the light of the party. Every single person got what they signed up for and more. I didn’t have to be running the show, it was the dolphins the whole time anyway. It was so amazingly divinely orchestrated I can only smile when I think about it now. There was such amazing growth on this trip for all and none of us will ever forget it. The tears, the laughter, the joy, the anger, the freedom, the letting go, the bonding, the realizations… all invaluable for us all. We will never be the same. I love you, my dolphin/human pod.

But I still had to go to California and get to a doctor. While much better, I was still feeling mighty strange and weak and shaky and I had to follow through on this. During the whole week my mom was so worried, and I felt so bad but I had never needed her and my dad more. We had made arrangements for me to fly to California instead of going home to Costa Rica.

I had avoided the Body Scanner machine at the airport with the blink of an eye and was feeling my power coming back.  In fact I was feeling very giddy. That is until I got into Houston and carrying my computer around in my backpack made the dizzy weak heart pounding feelings come back on and then of course the fear… less fear, but still fear of the unknown. What was going on with my body?

I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see my parents. That is until my mom told me she was taking me to the emergency room. The reality sunk in. This was not over, I needed some answers and it involved doctors, hospitals and Western medicine because my parents were now in control. And I really wanted to know one way or the other.

The next morning we went to the emergency room. I found out that the way to be seen immediately without even finishing the paperwork is to say the magic words “chest pressure.” Boy, did they move fast, got me into a gown, taking blood, blood pressure and an immediate EKG. The EKG and blood pressure again were fine, it would be an hour and half for the blood work. I was hooked up to a heart monitor and there I was, realizing my biggest fear. Hospitals, doctors, needles and the worst of all, that damn IV in my arm ready for whenever they needed to pump me up with something.  The tears flowed.

Again, it was like the twilight zone. This is someplace I have always avoided, feared. I wont even watch television shows or movies based in hospitals and I couldn’t believe this was my life and that it was happening to me right now.

The doctor comes in and tells me all blood work is fine and they need to take two more blood tests and if they are fine, they want to do a stress test to check my heart. This meant I needed to be admitted to the hospital and stay overnight for observation and the tests.

Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????? Overnight in the hospital? Me???? IV in my arm??? ARE YOU FRICKEN KIDDING ME??????? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Mommmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

NOW it was my worst fear. My worst nightmare come true. Overnight in a hospital. This couldn’t be happening. But it was. I knew I had to shift right now or I was a gonner. Whether I had heart problems or not, the fear was gonna kill me if I didn’t get things under control.

Deep breaths. I am seeing the light. This is going to be okay. Even if something is wrong I will get treated. I have the best care. This isn’t the end of the world. Hey that doctor is pretty cute. Better to know. Maybe George Clooney will show up. Maybe someone needs me in here. This will make a great Facebook story. This is all happening for a higher reason. I am going to be okay. All is well.

Whew. I was back and came back while facing my very worst fear! There was nothing left now.

I got taken to a room, set up, hooked up and settled in. My parents were there but I eventually made them go home, I was actually feeling strong enough now, had the stability and power back enough to start looking at what got me here to face my worst fears.

I closed my eyes, tune in and hear dolphin laughter. “Very funny,” I say as they show me a whole movie in seconds with a thousand different sub plots and side stories and interweaving and intertwining involving everyone on the dolphin trip and their lessons, and my lessons. They are very proud of their heart surgery they have done on me and they excitedly show me the complexity and thousands of levels on which they have worked on me and on which I have shifted… but then I feel some seriousness coming on.

“Sierra, are you going to stay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Its okay if you want to go, we know the plan was Happy Healthy Hot and Dead and it’s a good one, one that we dolphins often practice. But we want you to know that this heart opening surgery gift we have given you was for the physical human work you still have to do. And you can choose either way. Your physical body is healthy and part of this was to let you know that, get the physical evidence you needed to know. And now that you know, what are you going to do?”

“Ok Ok Ok. I’ll stay. But no more doctors and hospitals and needles!”

Oh dolphin laughter. There is nothing like it.

They remind me of how I have asked for chakra openings. “Sierra, how many hours have you listened to your Chakra Kahn playlist?” (I have a playlist I made with Jonathan Goldman’s and Source Vibrations chakra opening music and had been listening a lot. I called the playlist CHAKRA Kahn ;)) )

“Haven’t you been asking for the next level? Haven’t you noticed that where you are feeling the pressure is in your chakra centers?”

Gulp. No, I was so worried that I was having a heart attack that I hadn’t noticed. But now  that I had my steady footing and connection back I did notice… well what do ya know?

I hear the dolphins laugh again. “What is so funny now?” I ask.

“They should have put you on a Heart Chakra Monitor and they would have found out what was going on with you!”

The next morning I get my third blood test, it checks out and I am wheeled over to the cardiac unit where I get to watch my heart on a monitor in live, living color, sound and all through some magical stick that they have. There it is. My heart. Beating strong. They determine I am healthy enough for the stress test, I run on the treadmill, get tested again. I feel great. All symptoms are gone.

I glance at the clock and it’s 9:45 am.

I am told my heart is extremely healthy. My blood pressure is perfect. My circulation is great. My lungs are fine and my oxygen intake is at 99%.

“REALLY?” I ask, quite surprised. I really thought I had done some damage to my body over the years but I am in perfect health. I have not been to a doctor for over 25 years. And I would not have gone if not for something like this and I had to admit, it felt really really good to know that I am running strong. I feel like I have been given a second chance.

I hear more dolphin laughter. I remember the last time I went to Bimini, six years ago, I experienced another painful manifestation that led to another major heart opening by the dolphins. I had slipped and fallen on the tile in my bathroom in Costa Rica. I almost took my eye out and ended up with a very big and bruised eye and side of my face. I knew that the Universe was calling me to make a shift, painful manifestations always are a call. I called Christopher and as divine orchestration would have it, she had a Bimini dolphin trip leaving in two days. I immediately left Costa Rica and got to Bimini.

During that trip, I had the most lucid dream I have ever had. It was daytime and I had gone to my cabin to rest because I could not keep my eyes open. In the dream I was in the water and a bottlenose dolphin swam by me and then stopped about 10 feet away. He then swam at me as fast as he could and hit me right in the heart with his beak. I went somersaulting back and knew that I had just received a major heart opening, dolphin style.

As I am spinning in my dream, I hear the call “dolphins” and as I got ready to get into the water, I said, “if that dream was real, I see that same dolphin right now.” I knew I would and I did. She swam right up to me and around me. I took photos and they still give me the chills when I see them.

Amazing heart openings came from that trip and the dolphins had done it to me again. Major heart openings stemming from painful manifestations that build up from my resistance to becoming MORE.

See, they will always call me to be all that I can be. They will call me to clean up the in-congruencies and mixed, split vibrations. They always call me to open up my heart and live authentically and from love. And they let me know when I am not, when I am stuck and when I cannot see it. And sometimes it hurts, but that is the only thing that will get my attention.

I experienced so much growth on so many levels. It’s funny how we learn the same lessons over and over from the new levels we reach. Like now that you are here, THIS is what Love is. And now that you are HERE, THIS is what love is.

One of the women on the Bimini trip shared with me how glad she was to find out that I was human. She shared that she was afraid to meet me because she thought I was this perfect person who always had it together and manifested all these magical things… and my vulnerability helped her to relate to me and feel comfortable around me.

I never felt as human as I did on this trip. Authentically human.  And I share this story now because I learned so much about community and needing each other. It’s okay to need each other! I need YOU!! I don’t want to walk in front of anyone, I want us to experience this authentic and beautiful human experience together, with love and compassion. Here in the physical. Non physical friends only go so far. We need each other’s physical authentic humanness.  Hearts wide open.

An interesting side note and this is just sooo dolphin like to play with me like this:

A few weeks ago, my friend Anhalira posted that she was going to Brazil again to meet John of God, the very famous healer (as seen on Oprah.) She asked if anyone had any prayer requests she would take them to him. I wrote sent her a message that said:

Good health for myself and my parents, unlimited abundance in all areas of my life, and for my soul mate and I to finally meet up in this lifetime... the sooner the better!!

A few hours after I was released from the hospital with a clean bill of health, she wrote to me that she had submitted my prayer request to John of God that day. I wrote back and asked at what time and she said 9:30 am California time. Just when all my symptoms disappeared. Go figure.

I am not sure where this is going and I don't need to know. What I do know is that I am not the same, I will never be the same and that community, and grounded, heart centered people are more important to me than ever.

I have faced all my worst fears and all that is left is Sierra Raw and Unplugged and Heart Wide Open.

I love you.

In this interview from 2007 I speak with Lisa Bonnice about my weight loss and how I changed my thinking to become thin in my mind. Enjoy!

170 Pounds Lost and Paradise Found - Sierra on the Indigo Room

This is an interview I did back in November 2007 and just uploaded to Youtube with the new longer video time limits. It was great listening to it again and it contains lots of great information about weight loss and becoming thin.

Becoming Thin Weight Loss with Sierra Goodman - My Latest Interview

 

This interview is from March 2011 with Ande Waggoner. Learn about the I AM D.I.E.T. and get on your path to the thin person you are!

Time for a Spring Cleaning of Limiting Beliefs

Me thinks it’s time to do some Spring Cleaning of limiting beliefs. Yes! Spring Cleaning! We clean our houses out... why not clean up our minds a bit too?  It’s time to give up limits as usual, life as usual. It’s time for self observation to identify the beliefs that always have the last word. Once limiting beliefs are identified, they are shiftable. In every area that I have shifted this week, I have seen immediate evidence of my new, unlimited beliefs. Just like that. And that rocks!

You must be present to your true feelings and observe yourself reacting when the subjects of relationships, money, wellness, etc come up. Don’t just go into robot reaction mode. It is in those moments of self observation that we can identify those beliefs that are holding us back and begin to shift to more unlimiting beliefs that will get us where we want to go. When you think about the subject for which you want different results, do you get a knot in your stomach? Do you say no I can’t, I could never, It will never happen, I don’t deserve it? When you observe others who have what you want do you get jealous or angry or do you feel happy for them? Notice. Observe. What are you thinking and feeling that is holding you back and what are the new thoughts and feelings you can shift to that will break you free?

When you shift your perspective and beliefs and allowing limits, inspired ideas come to you, people and messages and signs show up that are a match to your new beliefs. You see instant evidence of your shift. The proof that you have shifted is in the evidence that shows up in your life and in the world around you.

First I identified some areas in my life where I wanted to see change and shift. I think it's best to do one or two at a time, not try to tackle a whole lifetime(s) of beliefs at once. I really let myself observe and feel what my core beliefs on those subjects were. Name it, Claim it, Shift it. As I embraced my new beliefs the funniest things started happening... I shifted some beliefs around money, income and relationships... as soon as I did, I got some really great inspired ideas for new ventures and putting life into old ventures... three people in one day contacted me about life coaching even though I have taken my site down... and I started getting private messages from a spiritual singles site I haven't visited for months!!  Like I said, the evidence comes fast once we shift!

Filtering Love - The Japan Earthquake & Tsunami

As I snorkeled among the fish this afternoon, I thought about the interesting dance I have danced this past week… knowing that in the broadest, highest, Source/God perspective, all is truly well… and seeing and feeling the pain and suffering of so many people. Though I live among some of the finest nature this beautiful planet has to offer, I have cried many tears watching images of some of the fiercest nature imaginable unleashed half way across the world.

It has been an interesting dance as waves of terror, fear, anger, uncertainty and anxiety wash over me unexpectedly and I have to quickly remind myself that it is not coming directly from me, but from my brothers and sisters who share this spinning globe with me, to whom I am connected. I breathe deep, ground, connect and center. Into Love.

I remember that my guidance has been showing me the importance of staying grounded and embracing the authentic human experience lately. I am understanding more and more the need for groundedness now and shifting into Love. Fast.

I remind myself that the Collective Consciousness has shifted a lot this week (as well as the Earth’s axis!) and with the influx of passionate, deep, strong feelings, emotions and vibrations in the stream that my CC Radar is working overtime, tuning in and bringing me signals, letting me know where vibration and energy need to be shifted. Into Love.

As I feel the fear and anxiety of others, I defuse those feelings with LOVE. Sometimes I can feel an individual person, sometimes it feels like thousands or millions, but just the same, when I feel these feelings coming from the Collective Consciousness, I shift them from within myself… therefore shifting them outside myself. Shifting them into Love.

Fear and anxiety and uncertainty are replaced with LOVE and sent back out into the Collective Consciousness Stream. We don’t have to change anybody. We just have to shift the feelings, emotions and vibrations within ourselves as they come through and send them back out. With Love. Garbage IN, Love OUT.

And we don’t have to worry about where it goes either. Divine Orchestration takes care of that. We just make the shift. Into Love. And send it out.

I swim along with one of my favorite Parrot Fish friends and watch as he filters water in and out of his gills, getting out the oxygen that he needs. I start thinking about how nature, our Earth, is one big filtration system. The trees and plants filter the air, the rocks filter the water… Nature reuses and recycles in perfect balance and is constantly adjusting and evolving her filtration system to keep that balance as resources change and evolve.

We are the Collective Consciousness’ natural filtration system. We keep balance by filtering anything that isn’t Love into Love. Just like the trees, rocks, animals, all of nature is a natural filtration system to keep balance and reproduction and life and evolution, we reuse and recycle and shift and filter thoughts and emotions back into love.

I embrace my work as a Love Filter. It is one of the reasons I am here.

I tune in and begin to breathe in rhythm with the fish… more and more fish, all my favorite kinds, come near. Together we filter in all that is not in balance or needed and filter out only Love and Divine Grace.

My Universal Truth Evolution Radio Interview about Dolphins, Whales, Weight Loss and Worthiness

Be True to You

Listen Divine Beings and you will hear
Your own Inner Guidance loud and clear

You are the one who knows what’s best for you
So follow your heart, to your authentic self be true

There is nothing to obtain, no one you have to be
You have it all inside you, so set yourself free

In the present moment is where you find your true self
Past stories and present worries remain on the shelf

To follow your dreams is what you came here for
So get passionate, BE Possibility and wait no more

Instead of complaining and waiting for change
Refocus your NOW and watch your life rearrange

Let go of the baggage and the attachments too
Cause’ once resistance is gone, it’s a dream life for you

Let go of the hurt, let go of the blame
And start living your life in charge of the game

Be FOR, not against, speak from love and respect
This is how you create the Love Consciousness Effect

When things don’t go how you think they should
Remember there is the law of The Highest Good

The higher perspective, the Divine Broader View
Is how it can all make sense to you.

Allow unique perspectives and inspired Source to flow
Every Being has their unique journey to expand and grow

Trust in Divine timing, let the Universe orchestrate
And it all turns out better than your imagination could create

Know you are worthy, embrace your Divine
Expect the best to happen, for it happens all the time!

Live from the heart, be the LOVE that you ARE
And your true and authentic self will shine like a star.

~ by Sierra ~

http://www.divinedolphin.com/

A Little Birdy Told Me: A Story of Pure Love Through a Toucan

I have always loved the toucans here in Costa Rica. We raised three since they were just days old and without feathers. They eventually returned to the wild where they belong. We had another toucan, Cassidy, who followed me around, hopping from place to place. But there was something different when I came back this time. I loved them even MORE.

I was so drawn to them and was glad it was the time of year that the palms have the fruits they like to eat so they were around a lot. I told them how much I loved them, I talked to them and I even made a video called I LOVE TOUCANS. I was showering the toucans with my love and appreciation for them.

Not too surprisingly then, one day last week a guy walked up here with a toucan. When we appreciate and love something so much, the Universe brings us more of it. It took me about 30 seconds to even realize he was holding one as he had it under one arm and the toucan was pretty much limp.

“Let’s go up to the kitchen, I have some papaya and see if he will eat,” I told him. The toucan practically attacked the papaya which was a good sign. He was still wanting to eat.  I asked the guy what he was planning to do with the toucan and he told me he was going to bring it home to his mom to take care of. His house was still a half hour walk more. I said, “Please let me take care of him.” And he agreed.

I cut up some more papaya and brought it and the toucan to my room.  He was soaking wet, cold, shaking, and weak.  I put him on a fleece blanket and let him rest. I marveled at how love and appreciation of these beautiful animals brought one to me. As my friend Kidest said, "It's all that love you've been oozing that brought one to your doorstep."  YES!!! Love and appreciation CREATE!!  Love and appreciation brings those things that we love and appreciate right to our doorstep! What a beautiful, wonderful world!!

The toucan, whom I named Timook, could hardly stand, and he was so cold and wet that I ended up wrapping him up in the fleece blanket and holding him to my chest. I closed my eyes and called on St. Francis whom is my partner when it comes to animals. I felt St. Francis put his hands on mine and then the most amazing thing happened. I saw this flood of white light open up above us and wrap around us. We were showered and wrapped in this light and I don’t really have the words to exactly describe the feeling, but I can say it was the purest love I have ever felt. It was the PURE LOVE of GOD. It was warm and bright and complete and intense and so very fulfilling.

This deepened my ability to let Source/God/Love flow THROUGH ME. I did not have to do a thing, I didn’t have to “try” to heal or try to do anything. I just got out of the way, emptied my mind and let it FLOW THROUGH.

Synchronistically, my beautiful friend, Kelly K. Brown, whom I always seem to be in sync with, posted an Abraham-Hicks quote that helped me to find the words:

It was so much more love than she’d ever felt that she didn’t know what she was feeling.
It was being hugged from the inside, out. It was cellular love.
It was a love so thorough, so complete, so wrapped through her that she thought she was having a heart attack!
It was love that was so pervasive she didn’t know what to do with it. She couldn’t describe it, she couldn’t label it, she couldn’t contain it. It was bigger than she was consciously, and vibrationally, ready even to endure; a love so great she couldn’t quantify it or understand it.
And in time, little by little by little, she and so many others of you have raised your vibration until you feel on a very constant basis that Love wrapping through you.
-Abraham-Hicks-

THAT describes what I was feeling. It didn’t end when the light faded either. Anytime I held or put my attention on Timook, that wave of LOVE washed over and wrapped around me.

Timook was soaking in this energy. Toucans are usually very skittish with humans and can do some damage with that big, long beak… and Timook was old enough to have the serrated edges that helps them to rip apart their food. But he made no moves to attack me, I could see that he totally trusted me. In fact when I cuddled him up to me and he put his beak down on my shoulder, tears of pure joy/love/connection streamed down my face.

Timook seemed to be getting stronger and even hopped around my bed a little bit. He ate some papaya and watermelon throughout the day, sometimes from my hand and sometimes he even took some himself.

I had a dilemma of what to do at nighttime. I couldn’t allow my dog and cat to be in the room if Timook was free because although they had pretty much not shown any interest so far, a fluttering, flying toucan would be too much for their instincts to resist. So I put the dog and cat out. The dog whined, the cat scratched at the door. It was going to be a long night. I tried to wrap him up and put him in a box, but he was much too energetic for that. He kept popping his beak out and then wiggled himself free and stood on the edge of the box. Hmmm, this wouldn't do. But then I had an idea… I wondered if Timook was strong enough to perch on a rod, a shower curtain rod to be exact. I brought him into the bathroom and sure enough, he was able to stand and seemed happy to be able to perch there for the night. My problem was solved. I was able to shut the bathroom door, let the dog and cat in and everyone was safe and happy for the night.

I checked in on Timook several times to make sure he was okay. The last time I checked, he was in full Toucan sleeping form… tail up, head turned 180 degrees and his beak resting on his back. He was getting stronger!

In the morning Timook seemed to be a little weaker than the night before. I heard him fall off the shower curtain rod perch and I went and got him. He really wanted to be by my side and anytime I went into the bathroom, he would hop to the edge of the bed and try to look in. When I’d leave my room, I’d put him on the top of a wooden chair and he’d turn his head, watching me walk out and would watch me through the screen as I walked across the balcony. I spent as much time with him as possible as we both loved the energy.

Timook ate a bit during the day, but not as much as the day before. I was starting to get a little concerned that he was getting weaker. I decided that the next day that I would call the wonderful bird vet that I met through my macaws and other toucans and see if I could send Timook to San Jose on the airplane to get veterinary care.

As the day and evening wore on, it was obvious that Timook was getting worse and probably wouldn’t make it. He couldn’t stand on the chair let alone the shower curtain rod. I was going to have to stay up with him as I didn’t want him to die alone, nor did I want to wake up with a dead bird next to me.

Timook alternated between laying perfectly still to his body jerking around. He placed himself right up next to me, with is beak under my arm. I stroked him and spoke words of love… and around 1:00 am, he left his body.  I felt his spirit go right THROUGH ME.

I felt both relieved that he wouldn’t have to suffer and sad. We had bonded so much in these two days together, experienced the BIG LOVE of Pure Source Energy together.  We had a very special bond indeed.

I gently placed his body in a box and put him on my altar. The next morning, as I was sitting on my bed, a younger toucan landed on the thick vine right outside my door. I had never seen a toucan land there before.  He was looking right into my room… right at ME!! He looked over at the box where Timook’s body lay and then back at me. I heard Timook speak to me:

“Yes I see the body there, but I am not there. I am here in this toucan and everywhere, in everything. That love that you felt with me is in every single thing, it is the Love Particle that permeates and creates ALL that Is. Thank you, Sierra, on behalf of all the toucans. You are one of us. You are one with us.”

During the day, several toucans visited, hanging right next to my room, looking in at me, thanking me, showing me that Timook lived on.  I no longer felt sad. I realized that Timook did not come to me to be healed. He came to me to give back the love that I had been giving the toucans and to allow me to experience that Pure Source Love wrapping around me that we feel when we die… but we don’t have to die to feel it!! I am very much alive and I felt it and now have access to it at any time.

The love that Timook brought me was to bring me up to speed with the new higher frequencies of love that now exist. Whether you believe that 11/11 opened up new vortexes, stargates or whatever, the truth is that that many people focusing on a new reality, that many people focusing on Love shifted the vibration of the planet to a new higher frequency.  It was a gift beyond measure.

My friends and I were posting people’s Facebook statuses to each other, all of them about LOVE, commenting on the new, higher frequency we all felt. There was a big wave of LOVE going across the planet, and I know that Timook took me along the crest, on the leading edge of the wave of LOVE.

Thank you, Timook. You are forever in my heart and will never be forgotten. I feel you and the LOVE that we shared all around me.  Wrapped in Love. Pure Source Love.

It just doesn’t get any more delicious than that!

I SURRENDER

My time in Costa Rica has been quite the adventure so far… and I have grown and expanded so much already in the short time I have been here.  Here’s my story…

For over 12 years I told everyone that I would never leave Costa Rica and that I would never go back to the States. I just couldn’t see it. This was home, this was the REAL life, this is where I wanted to be and couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Then, all in one week, actually in one day, I knew I had to leave. I felt a calling so strong to go back to the States for a while and I knew I had to trust it and in fact couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t believe it myself, but once I made the decision, I couldn’t get out of here fast enough.  I packed my bags and figured I’d be gone two months or so. I was gone almost two years.

I came back to visit several times, but never felt that it was time to move back, nor did I want to. I entered into talks with a man who wanted to lease my property for a marine research center. It seemed like a great solution for now. I didn’t want to be here, but I didn’t want to sell either as I couldn’t imagine letting this property go, knowing some day I’d want to be here again. 

The man with the marine research center came in August and after a short time together, I knew it wouldn’t work out. On this trip I knew it was time for me to come back for a while and get things in order, including getting the electricity installed. As soon as I got back to the States, I gave notice at my place in San Diego, put my things in storage, brought my cat to my parents and fly back to Costa Rica.  I knew it was time to reconnect with the property, and people started popping up all over that wanted to be a part of the community and wellness center here. The Universe was speaking strongly and I could not ignore it.

The day before I was coming down to Drake Bay by taxi, there was a severe weather warning, a hurricane that would not be a direct hit (we never get hurricanes here, just the tail of the weather) but would mess things up pretty bad. Me and my sisters worked on that one and the day I came down, the hurricane took a turn and the drive and boat ride down was without any rain… it started to rain a half hour after we got all my stuff up the hill. Yay!

I felt in control… but not for long.

My property was a mess. The person I had taking care of the property, a friend whom I was paying, had not done anything to keep it up. I come to find out that he pretty much just stayed in his cabin all day and had developed a cocaine habit. GREAT.

I hired a few guys and we started to clean up the gardens which because they were so overgrown, so wild, so intertwined that really the only thing to do was to cut it all down. I told them to try to save some of the flowers, but they went through, a machete in each hand and in one day, the center of the property, where I had planted over 32 species of heliconias, had been cut to the ground. I cried… they laughed at me…

For a couple of days I used the garden being cut down as anger therapy. I was upset with the person I had been paying to keep up the property who had not done his job.  So every time I heard the crack of the machete cutting down another plant, I imagined it was hitting Dan upside the head. It really helped me release the anger, I ended up laughing and I am sure Dan had a headache for a day or two. That’ll show him!! Tee hee.

As I let my anger go, knowing somehow this was for the higher good, it had to be, I took a stroll around the now bare center of my property… and I felt this JOY coming from the garden.

“What are you so happy about?”  I asked, surprised at what I was receiving.

“Sierra, while we needed to be overgrown to protect the energy while you were gone and we now feel the JOY of release and rebirth! We were safe in our cocoon and it’s time to transform. You will see how fast the garden comes back, bigger and stronger than before. Do not cry for us… you KNOW that the rainforest is all about regeneration and rebirth… we feel open and freeeeeeeeeee! All is Well!!  And you know it.”

Yup, I knew that everything was happening for a reason even in my anger… but I had to let myself feel the anger so that I could move through it. Allowing ourselves to be human is a good thing… but what the garden told me gave me deep relief and the final release of my anger.

Okay, so the garden didn’t mind being cut down and in fact expressed Joy about it. Cool.  But I was concerned about the several species of hummingbirds that make my garden home.  I watched as they furiously flew through the previously dense garden, even looking on the ground for flowers… I connected with the hummingbird energy and I told them that I was going to keep part of the garden by the beach untouched and some other flowering bushes that they like until the rest had grown back with some flowers. I asked if that was enough, that I wanted to take care of them.

I opened my eyes and one of my favorite hummingbirds, the white tailed hummingbird with the super long tail, flew right up to me and then circled me three times. We were good. I felt relieved and happy and from that moment on released my pain at watching acres of flowers and plants being cut to the ground. I joined in the Joy and even started telling the boys to cut even more than I had planned. I am actually enjoying being able to see the ocean from the back of the property and you can see the beach much better from the cabins. It feels open and airy and good.

***

For the past 14 years we have run off a large 51k generator that could run a small city. Of course this meant hauling in diesel by boat, and the guys carrying it up the hill. About a year ago, my side of the bay got electricity but because I was not here, it never got turned on.  Once I knew I was coming back, I got everything all set up, the meter pole, ordered the transformer, etc. When I got here, the electricity was all set up and ready to go, the electricity company just had to come out and turn it on. They drive for two and a half hours into Drake Bay from Puerto Jimenez and then we bring them over across the bay by boat. In all, it is a six hour deal for them… and to come out for just one person… well, I could only use my manifesting powers to get them to come out quick.  Surprisingly, they called to say they would come out on the Tuesday after I arrived… but I woke up to pouring rain and knew they wouldn’t be coming. The next day they couldn’t come because of other obligations, and besides, it continued to pour rain.

“But but but… I thought I would set the record for the fastest service by the electric company in Costa Rica history!!”  I said to the Universe. “I even posted on my Facebook page that the electricity was coming in record speed? What’s the deal?”

I hear laughter. “Oh dear, Sierra. You KNOW the electricity will come at the exact perfect time, for your highest good. All is in divine order and timing.”

“But, but, but… I am a powerful creator…  Why can’t I make the rain stop? I’m great with weather!!! Why can’t I get these guys to come out here? What is the hold up? I thought I would create this very quickly!!!”

Silence.  Hmmmm.

***

In the meantime, I had left my boat out in that tail of the hurricane weather thinking they would come any day and not wanting to pull it out of the water. I kept checking in with my intuition… and my cards… I felt it was okay to leave it in the water and I got the “Protection” card that says You, your loved ones and your possessions are safe and protected.”  Cool!

I woke up Wednesday morning to find that in the very high and rough seas, my boat had flipped over and was now floating upside down in the water, the engine under water.  I pulled a card. I got the Protection card again. WTF Universe??? How was this protection??? Surely my Magical Mermaids and Dolphins cards were broken!! 

But then I got a knowing that said that the motor had not been completely fixed right and that if we had taken the boat out to see dolphins, or were coming through the river mouth or somewhere, something worse would have happened. 

I called my favorite psychic sister, Tracy, who did a reading for me. She confirmed what I had gotten, that there would have been an electrical fire or some other something that would have been much worse. I asked what was up with me “almost” getting electricity on Tuesday and that I got the message that it was okay to leave my boat in the water when it wasn’t. “Because if you knew the electricity company wasn’t coming, you would have taken your boat out of the water and it wouldn’t have sunk. It happened for the reason of safety that we spoke of, and even more than that, more than you can ever know.”   We talked about the grand unfolding of everything.  I was feeling better. I shifted quickly.

I KNEW there was a higher reason for this, even if I never got to know what it was. 

I made some phone calls and friends came with a shrimp boat and used the pulley to turn the boat over and we towed it into town and to the mechanic.  Luckily, the battery had disconnected when the boat tipped and so the computer and electronics were okay, and now my motor was getting a total clean out. Okay, Okay, Universe. I totally trust that this was for the highest good. I really do.

When I got my boat back, it was sounding and running better than ever. Of course, the engine had been totally cleaned out! And I didn’t even have to pay for it because my mechanic owes me money. But that’s another story for another time…

***

Another strange thing that happened was with my pendulum. I have a pendulum that is a pointed Lumerian crystal, the crystal of TRUTH. I like to play with it, asking different questions and brought it with me. But it was doing really weird things here. I would ask a question and it would pause, perfectly still for at least 30 seconds which it never does, it always goes right into the answer… and I could feel the sigh… “Sierra, are you going to ask that same question again???” 

I was like “What? Don’t question my questions, you are a pendulum, answer me!!”  And it would oblige… but then after my question was answered it would go into a swinging vortex circle that was so strong and so beyond my control that if I had let the chain go, it would have gone flying at least 50 feet. I was like WHOA, should I be digging for treasure under my cabin or what???  It was really wild, really, really powerful.  It did that every time.

One night, the chain which was attached to the crystal by a flat piece and super glue was gone. I looked for it but could not find it… and knew I’d find it in the morning.  I woke up and saw it on the floor across the room, somewhere I had not walked and had no idea how it got there… but then I got distracted and the next time I looked over, it was not there. I looked around for it again and saw it by the door and would pick it up in a few minutes… and when I looked again it was GONE AGAIN!! I looked all over for it, swept my whole room, looked outside on the deck, on the ground. It is just completely and totally GONE.

Of course, I could glue another string onto it, some how rig it up, but I think it is quite obvious that my pendulum wants a break from me asking the same questions over and over… I think it thinks it’s time I just GET IT!!  Hmmmmmm.

***

So the days went by and it either rained or the electricity people were busy. I kinda started to get used to it.  I’d send my computer with my neighbor who was working for me to charge at his house… two hours to charge gave me about an hour of use. Or I’d go to my other neighbors and sit there and work for a couple of hours so that I didn’t get too far behind.  I was surviving and trusting in the perfect timing of the electricity. I knew that there was something I needed to do, something needed to happen for the electricity to get here. 

At night, once the computer battery wore out, I would listen to my Ipod.  I have so much stuff on my Ipod that I’ve never even listened to, so it was great to catch up on some of them.  I’d fall asleep listening to a meditation.  I was so busy during the day in the garden and cleaning up that I really didn’t mind not being able to get online so much… it would have been a distraction anyway. 

When I would get impatient, I would just laugh at my human self because my higher self knew all was in diving timing and orchestration.  Through it all; the garden, the electricity, the boat flipping, I always had a good grasp on the broader perspective. I have become a master shifter, able to make big shifts in a single bound. I was proud of myself on how I was handling it all. First “Oh shit” then quickly “Oh! Shift!”  I was living it.

***

On the following Tuesday, a week after the first time the electric company was supposed to come out and twelve days after I had arrived, I sat at my neighbors and downloaded some mp3’s that my Align & Fly sisters had recorded. I was looking forward to listening to them that night; I was missing connecting with them on a daily basis.  I came home and plugged in my Ipod like I have hundreds of times and this time, without warning, my computer erased the entire contents of my Ipod. There would be no listening to the anticipated mp3’s that night.

I started to laugh, like what else could I do, and said “Okay, Universe, Okay property, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME????”

I KNEW there was a reason for this; I knew the property wanted me to hear a message.  I had a vision pop into my head of that scene from the Wizard of Oz when the wicked witch writes SURRENDER DOROTHY in the sky with her broom. SURRENDER SIERRA. But to what? I never have really liked that word “surrender” any way, it felt like “giving up and giving in” to me. But Surrender was the word of the day.

I took my camera and went down to the beach where the guys were cutting hibiscus plants.  “Hey look at that snake!”  said David. I turned and there was a beautiful green garden snake… a big one too, he was probably three feet at least from head to tip of his tail.  He was garden green on his body, but his head was more of a florescent green, with a black strip on each side of his head. I turned on my camera, took two blurry photos (me and my camera are having issues) and the batteries died. 

OK OK OK Universe, no Ipod, no camera. I get it, I get it. The snake turned to look directly at me, but not just look at me, he INTENSELY held his gaze. “What’s up, Mr. Snake?” I asked. “Come with me on a journey,”  he invited. “Ummm, dude, I have my worker guys right here, there is no way I can go on a shamanic journey with you right now, they already think I’m crazy!”

“I will wait,”  he answered and at that, turned back to the side but did not move his body.. 

It was almost time for my guys to get off work so I just made myself look busy and thought about the book I had just finished reading the night before, The Shamanic Way of the Bee. I have long had a thing going on with bees and now bees tie into my Align and Fly Girlz group in so many ways. Several of us are reading the book and it’s a fascinating story of along the lines of the Carlos Castaneda of bees. I wondered what Mr. Snake had in mind.

The guys left and I went back over to the snake. He immediately turned back to me with that intense stare. “Okay. There is something I want to show you. Plant your feet firmly in the ground and hold my gaze.”   I did as I was told. Everything else became very blurry except this tunnel vision between me and the snake. I knew the ocean was there, I knew the trees were there, but I could not see them, it was just this intense connection between me and the snake. As I held his gaze, it felt as if someone was simultaneously gently pushing me from behind and pulling me forward. My feet were planted on the ground, but the rest of my body was being pulled into the snake. I almost fell over and had to put my foot forward to stop myself. I planted my feet again and stared at the snake. He did it again… my body uncontrollably went forward towards him. He was snake charming me!!! He was pulling me into his energy field!!

I felt him also giving me a message but I was not getting it.

“Stop trying, Sierra, and just do it! Just hear me!”   We continued to stare at each other and nothing else existed in the world except me and the snake. And he continued to pull me forward.  “How can you have the power to move me like that?”  I asked. 

“You are not in control of everything, Sierra,”  he said matter of factly.

“Say what?”  I said.

“Some things are beyond your control,”  he answered. 

“If you say so, Mr. Snake.  By the way, what is your name?”

“Sir Vladmir,”  he responded.

“Seriously?”   I relate the name Vladmir to someone I am not fond of.

“Not THAT Vladmir!!!”  Snakes have a very regal and slow way of talking and it was funny to hear him say it like that. “Just remember, there are forces more powerful than you.”

“Okay, I’ll remember that.”   At that he turned his head once again to the side and I was dismissed.  I thanked him for a most trippy interaction.  So we had The Wizard of Oz and Alice and Wonderland themes going on… hmmmm… I am so not in Kansas anymore.

***

I came back to my room and called my sista, Bethie, and told her all that was going on. First my Ipod erased, then I met a snake and my camera died, then he took me on this shamanic crazy journey and the property has this message for me and everyone has a message for me and I am not getting it because I still don’t have electricity!!!! I asked her to connect with the Girlz on Skype and tell them what was going on and to ask what they think the message was.

Bethie also felt that the property wanted to know that I would still take the time to connect even after I had electricity. I thought about it and she was right.  I had to let the property know that I would not be lost to cyberspace once the electricity was on. I would still take the time to connect on a daily basis.

I walked through the gardens in a kind of walking meditation. I told the property that I promised that I would still stay connected no matter what. I was sending out powerful waves of love.

I heard, “Sierra, you are very powerful, but we are more powerful. There are forces at work much greater than you. Yes, you are good with the weather, and you can control certain aspects… but sometimes there are reasons that you do not understand, higher reasons, orchestration by divine intelligence why things don’t happen the way you think they should. If your electricity was turned on right away, you would not have connected so deeply and quickly again with property. You would have been preoccupied. We needed you during this time, we needed you completely present to the energy here. It was our re-bonding time.”

“You and your friends are powerful creators, there is no doubt. But you have to surrender to the fact that sometimes things will not go the way you planned… and they will go better if you trust and allow the unfolding without resistance.  Everything is always happening for your highest good and you can relax in that and trust it, or you can fight it all the way.  Easy or hard, it’s your choice.”

At first I felt a little miffed, like I had been demoted from my status as the powerful creator of my reality. But then I felt the wave of relief and joy. I don’t have to do this alone!! I don’t have to be the be all end all super creator. I get to CO-create with the super intelligent divine energy that creates worlds!! I get to decide what I want and not have to worry about the how and the when and all the details. Source will work it out and I just remember that it’s all happening perfectly. And I like that! I like that A LOT!!

We can say we are God and we are in the sense that we are a physical extension of that non physical energy. But we still have a foot in the physical (and volunteered to do it). We are the agents of Source, we are the leading edge creators who came to bounce around in the physical and expand thought to places it has not gone before, to feel and experience and create, but there is a force and a power higher and so much more intelligent that orchestrates the whole divine orchestration of perfection that is the highest outcome for all concerned. We, in our human state just can’t do that. We can access and tap into that knowledge and live from that place. We can follow the guidance from our higher self and make things easy for ourselves. We can be in the closest State possible and that is in Love and Appreciation… and there will always be a Force greater and stronger than us. And that lets us off the hook!!! 

I SURRENDER!!!!

Just when I thought I already knew all that, I had to learn it again, on a deeper level. I’ve come to realize that we really do keep learning the same lessons again and again, that is part of being human… but we keep getting it on new and deeper levels that bring us closer to our Source and Who We Really Are.

I felt the energy shift. I had gotten the lesson. Again. From a new, higher place and perspective. Let Go. Surrender. Allow. Trust. All is Well. Always. All Ways.

I walked up to the kitchen and opened the doors. A Morpho Butterfly was stuck inside. The Morpho Butterfly, to me, is the ultimate symbol of transformation… from a big brown caterpillar to a big, bright blue butterfly. I use it in my logo and on my website. I smiled at this confirmation from the Universe that my lesson had been learned. I LOVE LOVE LOVE how the Universe speaks to me through nature!!!

I freed the Morpho Butterfly and the transformation was complete. As I watched it fly away, I knew that I was not the same. I was MORE. I felt relief, release and intense love and joy.

If the Morpho Butterfly was not enough confirmation that I had gotten the message, not even five minutes later, as I was still walking back from the kitchen, the electric company called. They would be here at 7:30 the next morning!! Imagine that!!!

I called Bethie back and told her the message I had gotten and about the Morpho Butterfly and the electricity coming the next day. She told me all what the Girlz had said… and at the same time I was walking through the garden, they were writing the same messages on Skype that I was receiving from the property. What a blessing to be so deeply connected with my sisters!

For the first time since I had arrived, my neighbor didn’t return my charged computer to me. No Ipod, no computer. Just me and the jungle all night long. They wanted me all to themselves on this last night of no electricity and no internet, a night of deep connection before the big change.

As I fell asleep, I felt the jungle wrap me up in a cocoon, much like the one they showed me they had been in while I was gone.

There is no place like home.

I SURRENDER.